Tad's Blog

Tad Ain't Got No Therapist

6/16/2025

He has not been processing anything. It's starting to come out to Ken. No good.

Awake Tad is convinced he can handle it. Sleep Tad ain't so sure.

This is all about Tad rebelling against an authority figure by running toward another, but his survival instinct understands that it's the wrong play and can't take control for long enough to ... well, take control.

The only thing he can think that might work if Jo isn't available? A directive. He needs someone to tell him what to do in a way he can't ignore.

Today Ken told Tad what Tad wants: Freedom. Validation. Belonging. Two of those things are correct. But Freedom is a bit too much for him right now. He didn't guess the actual answer. And Tad is unlikely to let that one slip to anyone.

Including y'all.

Goodnight!

1 Comment

Fin

6/17/2025 12:00:15 am

Okay. He might have already basically told Ken, Tessa, Jo, and Saini at one point or another. And I think even Sneaky and Twinkles had it implied to them. So like. He's not actually keeping it a secret. But there's really nothing they can do to help him achieve it. It's not something you can force. Right now, Tad is trying to force a lot of things to happen.

All of which would likely just happen on their own if he'd just relax a little.

Tessa has the most unearned affection at the moment, though Ken, Jo, and Saini have all earned theirs. Tad is actively trying not to care about Tessa. But he's worried about her. A lot. It is making him resentful. He needs to see that she actually cares what happens to him. She keeps dropping her guard and giving him glimpses of their connection, but she automatically puts it back up. It is not "Awake" Tad who is picking up on that. It's just a feeling he has deep down where "Sleeping" Tad resides.Though she has the most parental role in his life right now (handler), it was thrust upon her. Forced. And he feels guilty about that.

The part of him that keeps seeing that connection is impatient. It is allowing the temptation from Ken and it is allowing it quickly, before Jo can wake up and stop him. Because maybe, just maybe, if Tad allows Ken to try to break his conditioning, he'll be able to free Tessa from the role forced upon her. And if it doesn't work and he's in too much pain during it? Or he breaks worse than he's already broken? Well, he killed his father once. He can do it again.

If you haven't been able to tell by now, the juicier meta points sometimes end up in the comments.

Thaddeus Donkersloot, Jr.

Tad Ain't Got No Therapist

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