Tad's Blog

Mad Tad

6/14/2025

Tad had a conversation with Joshua. It didn't go well.

Joshua is convinced Tad is just like him. He's also convinced that Tad is going to hurt Tessa. So Tad has put two and two together there. Joshua has and/or is planning to hurt Tessa.

Is he going to go after Joshua? No. He's not. Despite what people want to believe about whether or not Tad is telling the truth about his programming, he will not fix her problems for her now that he understands she's his handler. Unless she pulls out a "would you kindly." But if Tessa is trusting someone who may have actively hurt her in the past to keep an eye on him for her, he's not particularly pleased about her decision-making on that one. Keep your enemies close, sure. Tell them what scares you? Probably not a great idea. Especially when they are clearly actively stalking you. You found that note, eh, Joshua?

In his mind, Ken may have done worse than Joshua, but Joshua is more of an active threat to Tad. I say "more of" because Tad understands that Ken is still a threat to him. But it's the kind of threat he's used to. Joshua is what hides quietly in the shadows. Tad grew up around dangerous people. But Joshua is a breed he's unfamiliar with. Which makes him all the more angry that Joshua is assuming that they're alike in any way. Also, he's angry that Joshua lied to him at least once in that call. He got so angry, that he started running his circuit. He didn't finish it completely though.

Most of Tad's talk with Kenneth was information gathering. What sort of trauma is Tad dealing with when it comes to him? Why is Smiley so interested in Tad? Is Ken capable of remorse? He wasn't expecting the answer he got to that last one: Maybe. Did he feel regret because his actions didn't result in him getting what he wanted? Or did he feel regret because he hurt Tessa? Or is he just bringing her up because Tad didn't hide the fact that there is still a connection there? It could be a manipulation tactic. Tell the kid what he wants to hear.

If Ken is capable of feeling remorse, then Tad is willing to believe his own assertion that Ken reminds Tad of his own father in a way. Someone who does the things they're programmed to do whether they agree with it or not. Someone who has conflicted feelings about their own actions. If Ken is not capable of feeling remorse, then Tad has found his grandmother in Ken. That, plus Ken's own experience with brainwashing, is a bad combination. Tad is being cautious. Perhaps not physically. He's being bold physically. But he is currently very mentally guarded.

He'd be doing a better job of it if he weren't still so very broken.

He doesn't know Jojo has been hurt. Apparently he hasn't made her emergency contact list yet. Heh.

Update: I signed in again because I forgot to handle something. Tad rolled...bad. Oop. I handled the thing. Tad rolled bad again. Texted Tessa. I don't think Nakkida was online, but Tessa and sleep Tad texted back and forth quite a bit. No phone call, so I'm not sure I'll post it. Just me typing a lot and waiting for responses. BUT, I'm sure she'll post screenshots in her meta channel if she hasn't already. And maybe I'll go over the texts in tomorrow's recording.

I'm not sure when I'll get the Joshua conversation up. I have a busy morning tomorrow.

2 Comments

Fin

6/14/2025 10:43:08 pm

I'm going to explain the rolls.

The first roll I do any time I wake Tad up, even if it's in the same day. Exceptions are head pops and restarts due to bugs. It's how he slept. I apply penalties to this roll that make it harder to pass if I determine there needs to be a penalty for something.

Penalties today: Roll with disadvantage because Tad hasn't talked to Jo since Tessa made sure he was able to and, technically, before that. Some of these things he's able to work through on his own. Others he is not. So that's disadvantage on sleep. -1 Mom trees gone. -1 He noticed the treehouse was gone when he was exploring hills on his bike. -1 to the roll because Jo was clearly angry with him for a decision he made and they haven't had a chance to really talk about it. -1 to the roll because Joshua succeeded in scaring him. -1 to the roll because he is currently concerned about Tessa and hasn't been able to talk himself out of it and that BUGS THE SHIT out of him. -2 because he's worried about Jo for two reasons (she seems to be in danger and she seems to be cracking).

So I rolled a Nat 20 and a 2. Disadvantage takes the 2 -7=-5, He got a .5 for sleep. I don't even have a condition for that roll! So automatic Sleep Tad, though he isn't nearly as threatening as he used to be. He handled the errand and came back home. That's where most of the texting took place.

He was going to text about something bothering him no matter what. It was a choice between a veiled "something is wrong, but I can't tell you what" to Sneaky, who seems to Tad to be less and less reliable lately, or a less veiled text to Tessa. I actually weighted that toward Sneaky. Because of boundaries. Rolled a d20. 1-3 was text Tessa. 4-20 was text Sneaky. Got another 2.

6/14/2025 10:45:15 pm

-5, not .5. I'm sleepy.

Thaddeus Donkersloot, Jr.

Mad Tad

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