Lost

Tad is trying to be normal. Not quite working. He's been considering finding a new therapist. It's making him sad. He thinks Jo has already helped him a great deal, which is something no therapist has done for him yet.

He tells Saini about himself as a way to sort of chronicle things. She helps a little. He needs someone who cares to know. But she's not a therapist.

Lately his talks with Ken have taken over for therapy. And as much as he can talk to Kenneth about his past, he has a lot of trouble talking to him about his present. His OCD is driving him batty. Some of his more pleasant emotions are starting to manifest in difficult and uncontrollable ways. And he doesn't know what to do about his broken circuit or the increased local bloodlust. He killed in front of other people while he was NOT having a breakdown for the first time today. And they were probably some of the worst people who could have witnessed that. 

If Mr. Smiley successfully recruits Tad, Tad isn't who I thought he was when I started playing him. That's both intriguing and frustrating. Especially since it's unclear when the recruitment is over. He might already be there.

Tomorrow, I will probably check in, but I'm unlikely to play for long enough to actually RP unless it's on Johnson. I have something happening in the middle of the afternoon, assuming I feel well enough to go. I wanna see my friends. So I might just mask up even if I'm still feeling off.